When he tells you he doesn’t love you anymore, smile. Keep your shoulders straight even though your spine is collapsing inside. Tell him to have a good life even though your palms are itching to grab his shirt collar and shake him out of it. Don’t say, “No one will love you as much as me.” When he says he’s confused about the two of you, don’t point out that you deserve to be more than an option. Nod. Tell him he can take all the space he needs, but don’t flinch when your insides feed on the desperation you are feeling. I know you want to kiss him and tell him you miss him, but don’t. Please don’t. When he flings an apology casually into the air like tossing a napkin down after dinner, say, “Its okay.” Make sure it doesn’t sound as dry as your throat feels. Try not to smash the glass on the floor from the anger that threatens to tear you up. You can’t believe it. Is there someone else? Bite down on your bottom lip, don’t release that thought. When he offers you a compensatory sentence by saying, “Are we still going to be friends?” pretend like you mean it when you reply, “Of course.” Decline his half hearted effort to get you home. Call a cab, assure him you’ll be fine. He will try to hug you tight, because this is the last time. He will pretend this was a valiant fight. But one sided battles are not called wars. They are called excuses to hold on, and you’ve been holding on for dear life. Leave.
did anybody else grow up bein that one friend who was in the group but not really IN the group??? like your friends would go places and throw parties and not invite u n stuff????? idk that really fucked up my self esteem hbu
"i was talking to my uncle today
and he said -
he had great loves
when he was my age,
but as great as they were
he doesn’t remember their names.
and my heart sunk
to the pit of my stomach,
because i imagined you,
years from now,
saying the same thing
to your kids,
trying to remember
what you called me."
